Have Teeth, Will Bite

That's right, my son has six teeth. He's had six teeth for awhile now. I've been meaning to write this post for ages, so here it all comes. If I'd wrote it when I meant to, it would have been two posts...you'll understand.

Back in mid-/end of July, Owen (age: eight months) bit me for the first time while nursing. Oh, did it hurt! It involved all of his six new teeth, top and bottom, and it came out of nowhere. He'd been eating just fine, and then he bit me. Why? I still don't know.

Well, I'd been preparing for this moment (dreading is more accurate a term). I'd asked my sisters and sister-in-laws what to do. I'd received the advice say "no." I'd also been told to flick him on the cheek and he'll never do it again. So when Owen bit me, I said no, I didn't freak out or make a weird noise, and I lightly flicked him on the cheek. He seemed completely shocked.

I wasn't sure he was done eating, so I tried to nurse him some more. He didn't wait a second; he bit me again. It was awful! This was not how it was supposed to work! I was supposed to say no, flick his cheek, and have no problems again. I tried the no and flick again. This resulted in the saddest look I'd ever seen my baby make. His lip pouted so big and he started to cry. I started to cry. I felt dreadful. I hadn't wanted to flick him even lightly the first time.

I tried to get him to nurse again. I got bit again. We cried some more and separated. There would be no more eating at this time. I hoped that if I waited until he was properly hungry he wouldn't bite me. Maybe he was just full and trying to tell me that. Hopefully he would forget this dreadful biting.

Unfortunately my hopes were in vain, he started his next feeding with another chomp. I cried from distress. I just wanted to feed him, why was he biting me? Why wasn't "no" working? Why not the flick? The flick just made me feel horrible and guilty and made him sad. Instead of nursing, Owen received pumped milk from a cup (a very messy disaster but he refused to take it from a bottle) and in some rice cereal. He thought the cup was great fun.

Three hours or so later, it was time to eat again. I was really nervous by this point. I was scared to put him near me for fear he would bite me, but I also wanted to nurse my baby. I wanted to hold him and love him. When I tried to get Owen to eat, he refused. He writhed in my arms and cried. My baby was scared. I'd made him scared to eat. I felt completely horrible now. We both cried.

I sang him songs. I kissed his little cheeks. I rocked him. It took fifteen minutes to get him to try breastfeeding and his body was shaking with little sobs. He bit me a little, but I didn't react. He started sucking and eating just right. From then on I determined never to flick again. I never will, not for any of my kids.

For the next little while, Owen rarely bit. I made sure he was definitely hungry when I nursed him. If he was going to have solid food and breast milk, I gave him solids second. I did my best to make sure he wouldn't bite me to tell me something.

Everything was going so well for awhile until he started slowly letting his teeth push down on me again. It wasn't like the first times. His tongue always lay over his bottom teeth like they were supposed to. They weren't involved. It was all his top teeth, and it wasn't like when you bite your tongue or something. His top teeth would come down with pressure with each suck. He'd leave teeth marks.

I tried telling him "no biting" and take him off for 10 to 30 seconds based on how many times I'd had to say it already that feeding. This didn't seem to work. He would become distraught. Sometimes there would be teeth marks and sometimes not. I couldn't always tell when it was occurring. And often the "biting/teeth pressure" would be worse when we resumed the feeding. I admit, I gave in. I'd just let him push his top teeth in as long as it wasn't too painful. Watching him cry and dealing with the worse "biting" didn't seem worth it.

It got worse though. It got to the point where I had small red dots, like pinpricks, where he'd put his little teeth. Just lightly brushing those spots with my finger hurt. I tried saying "no" again, but now I was really unreliable about knowing whether or not he was or was not biting me. I had to do something though. The pain was growing to a level similar to that when I first started nursing--similar and new all at once. Excruciating and tear-inducing all the same.

I prayed to be able to feed my baby and heal. I prayed to be able to get past the pain. I prayed to know how I could stop the "biting."

I decided to try what came to my mind, and my prayers were answered. When he "bit" I did the following:

1. I continued to firmly say "no."

2. I tried my best never to react in any other way, especially a way Owen might find amusing.

3. I would pop Owen off and almost instantly let him start eating again.

I did this a lot. Often multiple times during one feeding. The pain did not go away all at once, so I tried to gauge the pain. I tried to only unlatch him when it seemed like he was actively letting his teeth get my skin, more than merely touching the little sores. By letting him start eating without even a three second pause, he didn't get frantic and suck like a starving child (most of the time).

Things have vastly improved! Over the past two weeks, my sores are gone. I still have to tell him "no" and unlatch him during about one feeding a day, sometimes multiple times that feeding. I don't have to gauge my pain though, so I'm more reliable about knowing when he's biting me. This has made life so much better.

Now I just have to figure out how to get him not to bite the rest of me or other people...like knees when he's cruising by them on the couch, my collar bone or Tyler's shoulder when he's being held, Tyler's side when he's laying on the ground, my shoulder blade when I'm hiding under the blanket to say "peek-a-boo" [yes, that happened yesterday]. Silly baby.

Sleep is a Slippery Thing

When Owen was born he was at least somewhat nocturnal. Though he slept a lot in general, he seemed to be more alert at night. As he got older he slowly shifted from going to bed for the night at 4 am to 2 am to 1 am to midnight. We'd often put him in his swing until he fell asleep and then transfer him to his bed. After more weeks he started going to bed closer to 11 pm which was great.

This whole time he slept fairly well through the night. He'd wake up to eat a few times, but then he'd sleep in until 11 am which made up for the nights when neither of us went to bed until the wee hours of the next morning. Over time he stopped getting up as often in the night just as he'd started going to bed a little earlier on his own over time (weeks and months) until he began sleeping through the entire night with no feedings.

A full night's sleep taking place between 11 pm and 10 am was perfectly alright with me and I had and have no idea how it happened.

Between four and six months, we started trying to get Owen to bed earlier. We tried adding a bedtime routine and laying him in bed to fall asleep on his own around 9 pm. Some nights it worked. He'd lay in his bed quietly talking to himself until he eventually fell asleep. Other nights didn't go so well, and he'd cry until we went and got him. We weren't trying terribly hard at the time. We didn't like hearing him cry for long periods especially when we knew there were times he didn't cry at all.

After his six month well-child visit, we started putting him to bed at eight and letting him cry longer. The first night was rough, but he eventually went to sleep. Most days he cries for a few minutes, usually less than five, and then falls asleep. At first he still slept through the night though he woke up early (between seven and eight which is early compared to ten). Something, however, has changed. In the past few weeks he's been waking up at least once a night. In the past several days it's been more like twice or, more often, thrice.

At first Tyler and I figured it was because we'd thrown his schedule off. We'd gone on a trip to help his brother in San Francisco, been down at his parents' for his sister's wedding, and stayed at my sister's to visit. However it's been weeks since then and he's waking up more now than he did then, especially since some of those nights can be counted among the smattering in which he didn't wake up at all. Frankly, we have no idea why he isn't sleeping through the night since we know he is fully capable of doing so. The main problem is that we don't know what we can do to get him to sleep through the night again because it just happened on it's own the first time.

Last night he only woke up once after being put to bed for the night and it was before we'd even gone to bed. Hopefully, this is a good sign. A sign of sleeping through the night in the days, weeks, months to come. I sure hope so because if we have to just let him cry until he falls back asleep I will struggle. I hate hearing my baby cry, and I definitely can't sleep through it with him in the same room. That means we'd have to move him to the other room for sure...and currently there isn't much room for him in there. I guess I should get back to cleaning in there just in case.

Can He Really Be Teething?!

On Monday, I saw a slit in Owen's gums. At first I was worried he'd gotten some weird cut, though we keep paper and things far from his reach and definitely out of his mouth. After washing my hands, I rubbed his gums with my finger and sure enough I felt a slight, sharp bumpiness. Owen is getting his first tooth! You can barely see it coming through his bottom gums. So far he's been fine. I don't think he's even been more fussy. I can't tell if he's been more drooly because that is what he does. Hopefully, he won't get a fever and teething won't be too rough. Wish us luck!

Getting Things Rolling

On April 20, Owen rolled for the first time. This is how it went down (I wrote the following that day):

Owen doesn't approve of tummy time, but I've been upping his time there each day because it is good for him. Cognitive and motor development being sort of important. So I put him on his tummy while I got a pen to address some envelopes. For those of you who don't know the layout of my apartment, this means I was maybe a yard and a half away from Owen, but behind the loveseat. After grabbing the envelopes off the table, I went to sit by Owen and in the perhaps 30 seconds he was out of sight he'd gotten onto his back! He'd rolled over!

After getting very excited and giving Owen big hugs, which he loved, I told Tyler through google chat. Of course, I had to try it again. Owen was not pleased, but in less than 15 seconds from the time I put him down he had rolled over.

This being the exciting event that it is I tried it a third time. Owen rolled over even more quickly. I think this marks the end of tummy time and the beginning of the end of an Owen-safe house. It's a good end, I think.

Not New, Just Different & I Can Do It

Having a baby makes your life busy. It's not the busy it used to be where you're juggling work, school, your personal interests, church, and (my favorite) time with your wonderful husband. Along with all that there's always the regular stuff that you have to do every day: getting ready for the day, travel time, making food and eating it. Even if you're heating up a frozen burrito that's still a minute and a half to cook. And if you're like me you turn on the TV during the time you spend cooking and eating. Maybe those ten or fifteen minutes don't seem like a long time, but every minute counts when you have lots to do.

Think about it. How many minutes do you waste when you could quickly be tidying up a room? reading a few pages from a magazine or book? sorting your discarded laundry? washing the dish you just used? If you take those few minutes when you have them, you never have that full sink of dishes you never want to start, the huge pile of laundry to sort, or the whole house to clean. And on top of all that you've actually finished that book you've been meaning to start and you're halfway through another.

I've realized and continue to need to remind myself of how much time I throw away. My two biggest time wasters are the TV and the computer. Far too often when I turn on the TV I spend twice as long as I meant to spend watching, if not more. I'll want to watch a particular show, but it won't be starting for ten minutes. However, instead of reading a book or putting a few things away, I turn on the TV and watch something I don't care about. Then after my show ends, I start flipping channels when I should just turn the thing off. Before I've even thought about it, I've gotten sucked into a show I find somewhat amusing or one don't even like for another thirty or sixty minutes. It's disgusting how much time the TV can swiftly suck away.

The computer is not much better. I love my computer and the convenience it brings. It's so easy to quickly contact someone, find a fun craft idea, or see fun pictures your friends have been taking. Well, I know I spend to much time on my reader. I am always finding a fun new blog. I finally had to stop finding new blogs. There are just too many blogs in the world. (I know I'm one of many.) I also get sucked into looking at the random "recommended items" google reader gives. Too much stuff! I tell Tyler I'm just going to check my email, but it's never just my email. Even when I mean for it to be just my email I end up opening my reader, my second email, my facebook, my blogger dashboard... and then 30+ minutes later he's asking me if I'm coming to bed or if he should just go to sleep without me.

Now that I've got a baby, my time feels more stretched. I don't have work or school anymore, but I barely manage to eat at normal times or get much done. Owen takes up more time than I'd expect, especially because he doesn't nap except for ten or twenty minutes most days. He definitely deserves my time, no question there, but realizing this I must strictly discipline myself and use my time in exactly the way I want. The fifteen minutes I get to make my food and eat it might be my only free time while he naps. I need to hide the remote so I don't throw away that time watching some dumb show and instead read while I eat! My life may be busy but I can and I will find the time for myself! This is my goal: I will not throw away my time. How? Now that is the important question. No goal will work if it's that vague, so I will post some concrete goals.

1. I will check my google reader only once a day. (This is going to be tough. I keep thinking "Maybe I should change that to twice...or just erase it. No one would know.")

2. I will only turn on the TV while I'm doing the dishes (that's my favorite time to watch) or when I have a specific show to watch.

3. I will read rather than watch TV while I feed my baby.

I think we'll start with those and work from there. And Tyler--I know you're reading this--I'll need you to keep me to this!

My Sort of Planning

Tyler asked me a few days ago what I had planned for the day. Planned? I told him that I didn't have any plans and that since Owen came I don't make plans. Owen has no schedule, making it nearly impossible to plan on anything. I never know when or if he will take a nap, where that nap will take place (only in my arms, for example), or how long that nap will last. There is simply no time to start a craft project, for example, let alone get it all out, before he wakes up from most naps. And since lately many of said naps end as soon as I set him down in his bed (or 5 minutes in), I've barely had time to start relaxing. This uncertainty makes planning on getting anything done less than tempting.

Instead I plan very little, and I feel more productive. Maybe this seems illogical, but think about it for a minute. If you want to get something done and never have the time, you just feel lame. It ruins your whole day. On the other hand, if you don't plan anything, you feel great when things do get done that you weren't planning on. So, in general, I don't really plan or I at least don't place loads of value in accomplishing said plans.

When I do plan, I try to allow for change. I alter my wording as it were. For example, rather than say, "I have to get the dishes done today," I say, "It would be nice to get the dishes done today." Maybe this seems trivial, but this simple change can make a huge difference. Consider it this way: (a) check the box I washed the dishes vs. celebration because I accomplished something extra during my day or (b) disappointment because I failed to accomplish one simple task I had planned vs. shrug it off, no big deal, I can do it later.

I have realized that I have more time than I thought. It's pretty piecemeal and therefore gets away from me because I don't use it wisely. To combat this, I make one, two, or three goals for the week--some things I want to accomplish that can be done whenever. I make sure my goals are reasonable and can be done a little at a time if necessary. I also have Tyler's help and support in accomplishing these. With his help, I can always do the task after he gets home from work and can watch Owen if need be. This week I made a craft for Valentine's Day I thought up a couple weeks ago while Tyler played with Owen. :)

Some time I've found is when I'm breastfeeding. I can stare off into space or zone out at such times, but I'm much less bored when I read instead. I feed Owen at least six times a day (he's started sleeping longer at night, not consistently, but still amazing!) and I can get a good deal of reading done at that time. It's made it easy to get some fun reading in. I'm currently reading The Grand Tour, the sequel to Sorcery and Cecilia. I also get my personal scripture study done. It's easy to make my goal of reading the Book of Mormon for at least 15 minutes each day when I do it during Owen's feedings.

Owen is also pretty laid-back and hasn't developed stranger anxiety yet, so I can invite friends over or visit people spur of the moment without him freaking out. Just yesterday I had a friend come over to scrapbook with me. Owen happened to be awake the whole time, so I just chatted while she made cards. Owen had fun smiling at her and playing with me and I got to catch up with a good friend. I've even planned another craft day for next week--maybe Owen will nap and I'll get to make something. But if not, I'll still get to chat and that is definitely worth it.

Instead of checking off a list of tasks, I enjoy anything and everything I accomplish in a day, whether it was making Owen smile and laugh, running some errands, reading a few pages from a book, organizing, doing the laundry, or doing a project. Think of it this way: every day is an adventure! You never know what you will accomplish. :) And if I spend my whole day with Owen that's great. What is more important than making my baby happy and letting him know he's loved? Caring for him is true productivity and it's definitely better than getting the dishes done.

Beds are for Sleeping

Owen has decided that he will only sleep in his bed when he's down for the night (with feedings interspersed still, of course). He does take naps, but he will not take them in his bed. Instead he insists on taking them on the couch, in my arms, or on my legs. This makes typing difficult like now since he is currently napping in my arms.

I try to put him in his bed when he's drowsy or even asleep already, but somehow he knows it is daytime and therefore only nap time. This knowledge wakes him up and he either wakes up to (a) laugh and kick in bed or (b) cry. Neither option makes me very happy. In the case of option a, I want to play with him when he's happy and awake. If I pick him up at this point though, he will quickly fall back asleep. In the case of option b, I hate it when Owen cries. It makes me so sad. I hurt inside.

I can't even handle Owen crying in bed at night. I tried to let Owen cry in bed for just a few minutes the other day. He was obviously tired, and you're "supposed to" put babies in their beds when they're drowsy so they learn to fall asleep on their own.... But I didn't last three minutes! (Not that I was going to let him cry for more than five or maybe ten minutes, he's still too little for that.) Instead, Owen fell asleep in my arms and then I put him in bed.

The irony of all this is that since I've been writing this over the past few hours, Owen has fallen asleep in his bed and it isn't even dinnertime yet. That boy has amazing senses...I think he just wanted to prove me and this post wrong.

Surgery

About a week before Christmas, Tyler had his wisdom teeth taken out. He should have gotten it done years ago, and after the surgery we both wish he had. All four of his wisdom teeth fit the description of "difficult and bony" and cost the most to get taken out (the price of each tooth removed varies based on the difficulty of removal). One of the teeth had even grown up into his sinus.

The baby and I went with Tyler to his surgery since he was going to be asleep for the ordeal and unable to drive afterward. I wasn't all that worried until I was back in Tyler's recovery room (more like a closet or cell, really). The assistant was describing how the surgery went and what I needed to make Tyler do (or make sure he didn't do) in order to recover as quickly and comfortably as possible. There was so much and I wasn't supposed to leave Tyler alone all day. I felt completely overwhelmed. How was I supposed to give Tyler the care and attention he needed and I wanted to give him and take care of Owen? To add to that, I had scheduled (stupidly since I knew Tyler was having surgery that day) time to visit with two girls from church that evening.

Tyler seemed quite with it on the drive to the pharmacy and most of the day. He also said he wasn't in much pain once he got on the medicine they prescribed him. This led to our negligence with his ice packs that day...and subsequent pain and swelling in the days thereafter.

Taking care of Tyler and Owen was not my favorite thing. It was really tiring, actually. Between feedings and medicine reminders I got very little sleep. I previously enjoyed being able to help and pamper Tyler when he was ill, now with a baby... it is not so enjoyable because I don't feel I can do all that much. But more than that, it was really stressful to take care of someone post-surgery. There are so many things to remember besides when to take medicine. Tyler wasn't supposed to suppress a sneeze, blow his nose, use a straw, prod the surgery site even with his tongue, get overtired (which means I get way overtired because we have a baby), etc. etc.

What am I going to do when my son gets his wisdom teeth out years down the road? How did my mother do it? And how did she make it look so easy? I mean, honestly, I wasn't even prepared with food Tyler could eat while he recovered and I wasn't supposed to leave him alone to even go shopping! Thank goodness we made it through that.