Something I Never Thought I'd Pray For

Note: This post is not for the easily nauseated. You might find it gross...or you might find it hilarious. Read at your own risk.

Last week our son stopped having daily bowel movements. Maybe this isn't a shock to some of you or maybe the thought of him having daily bowel movements is odd to you. Well, he basically went every diaper or close to it until one day he didn't. This might not have caught my attention except we'd received a booklet from the hospital when we were discharged that said explicitly to call your doctor if your baby did not have a bowel movement for 24 hours. Therefore, we called the pediatrician's office/hospital at ten o'clock at night because that is what the booklet said. The pediatrician-on-call (not our usual doctor) told us to get infant glycerin suppositories if we were worried and left it at that. So Tyler called around looking for an open pharmacy to check whether or not said medicine was behind the counter even if it was over-the-counter. No pharmacies were open, and no one seemed to know what a glycerin suppository was, let alone where you'd find it. Finally one store knew both what it was and where to find it, so Tyler went at midnight to buy it.

While Tyler was at the store, I searched online. I could have sworn that I'd read somewhere that breastfed babies can go days without a bowel movement. Sure enough I found a couple sites that said a breastfed baby might go two or three days without one. With this knowledge we decided to wait on the suppository until at least 9 am when the doctor's office opened and we could ask our normal pediatrician instead. After all, our son didn't seem to be acting upset or constipated (And really, who wants to administer a suppository if they can help it?)

When morning rolled around, I called the doctor's office. They reaffirmed what the websites I had found said as well as telling me not to worry unless he started acting miserable.

As we moved into the second day without anything, Tyler and I started praying for something we never thought we'd pray for. We wanted our son to have that bowel movement already. We wanted to not have him be constipated. We definitely wanted to avoid giving him a suppository which could cause some bleeding as well as help the potential problem.

On the third day I called the doctor again. I had searched online another time and found a site that said that breastfed babies might go one week without a bowel movement after they've reached a month old. If this was true there was nothing to worry about, but the nurse had said during my last call to call after three days if there was still nothing. I called. I told the nurse what I'd read, that my son was five weeks old now, that he'd had no bowel movements in three days, and that he didn't seem to mind. In fact, he was quite happy that morning. I received another reaffirmation of the information I'd found online. I wondered why the first lady had not told me a week as well. I decided this was all ridiculous.

Several days later, my son had his bowel movement all right. It was not something small either. He'd obviously been saving up. You see I heard it happen (infants aren't subtle), so I place him on his changing table and prepared to clean things up. Opening the diaper, I found it was nasty full...and barely managed to close the diaper in time to save myself from what continued to come! I had Tyler get the tub water running, and we washed him down with water instead of using a billion wet wipes.

Well, several more days went by, and on Monday our son had another belated bowel movement. This time, I decided it was Tyler's turn. After all, I'd nearly got sprayed with the last one. I gave Tyler the baby and nearly died laughing in the proceeding minutes. Tyler was appalled by the sheer quantity of mess our son had created. He kept loudly voicing his displeasure while our son remained content and calm on the changing table. I go in to help and discover that Tyler did not keep the diaper on just in case our son wasn't done. Well, you guessed it, he wasn't done and his feet were being held in the air when it happened. Tyler exclaimed in utter disgust, "He's an exploding mustard bottle!" and I doubled over in laughter.

Thankfully, I have a strong stomach, though I think it has gotten stronger since having a child. I found the event much more humorous than disgusting. I think I will enjoy this memory for years to come. So while the worry about bowel movements started as a strange down, it all ended in a particularly amusing up. My husband's exclamation and shock will stay fondly in my memory, and thank goodness because it really was quite gross.